Self-Preservation

I'll call him "Him" -- not God, just a man, but a Him nonetheless. I love Him, and unfortunately for me, I love hard. I breached what could be a wonderful relationship by brandishing my obnoxious selfish attitude. Now he's gone... taking a break. A moment. The moment feels like forever... Yes, I'll wait that long for him.

I venture to say I'm attractive. A nice looking 'young lady,' ha! Yet, once the male species gets to know me, my personality is too strong, I'm too abrasive, too much. So, I am forced to reduce another piece of me in hopes that someone will come along and find me 'just right.' Yet, a huge part of me says, "No! Do not succumb to the charges of man. You are unique, you are beautiful, you are precious! Like no other... do not change!"

And I digress... there are things I need to change about myself. Yes, we all are capable of some positive changes. Yet, I find it hard to know the change that's best for me... while keeping myself - myrealself.